Feel Like You Can't Take It Anymore, or Know Someone Who Feels That Way?

What Should I Do If I Feel Hopeless? [CLICK TO EXPAND]

Tell someone who can help. Tell your pastor, therapist, a friend, a family member, or someone else who can help.

Distance yourself from any means of harming yourself. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, get rid of any pills or give your medications to someone who can dispense them to you one dose at a time. Temporarily remove any dangerous objects or weapons from your home.

Avoid alcohol or any other drugs not prescribed for you.

Don't try to do things you're likely to fail at or find difficult until you're feeling better. Set realistic goals for yourself and work at them slowly, a step at a time. Take one day, or even one task, at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself by focusing on the big picture all at once. Don't be critical of yourself or dwell on criticism by others.

Make a written schedule for yourself every day and stick to it. Set priorities for the things that need to be done first. Cross things out on your schedule as you accomplish them. A written schedule gives you a sense of predictability and control. Crossing out tasks as you complete them gives a feeling of accomplishment. Feel good about the things that you got done, but don't beat yourself up over the things that you didn't manage to finish. Make sure to include some enjoyable activities, such as:

• listening to music
• playing a musical instrument
• studying your Bible
• doing relaxation exercises
• doing needlework
• reading a book or magazine
• taking a warm bath
• sewing
• writing
• shopping
• drawing or doing a project
• playing games
• watching a movie or favorite TV show
• gardening
• playing with your pet
• enjoying a hobby
• taking a walk

Attend to your physical health. Eat a well-balanced diet. Don't skip meals. Get as much sleep as you need, but don't sleep to excess. Exercise regularly. Get some fresh air.

Talk to other people. Whether you talk about your feelings or about any other topic, it's likely to be helpful. Sometimes it can be uplifting to do something nice for someone else when you're feeling low. It might brighten your spirits to know that you've brightened someone else's day.

If you don't feel better, or even feel worse, as time goes by, see your doctor for a checkup. There are many treatable conditions that can cause depression or fatigue. Some of these include vitamin and mineral deficiencies that are easily corrected, as well as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which can be improved with the use of a full-spectrum lamp.

If you feel that you can't cope, call our 24/7 hotline:

1-800-924-6073

Some additional source of help are:

Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans

Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.

Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999

Remember that this is NOT a permanent condition. If you do something drastic, the consequences of that action may be permanent. Right now there is hope.

Where Can I Find True Hope? [CLICK TO EXPAND]

You can find hope in the Bible. There you will find all the answers. Here are some important verses for you to start with.

How Does God Care for Me?

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. Psalm 121

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
Isaiah 43:2

The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18

Cast all your troubles on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-29

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27

Nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1:37

What Is God Like?

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10

God is love. 1 John 4:16

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Who Is Jesus?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. John 3:16-18

I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. John 5:24

And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day." John 6:39-40

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. John 10:9

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. John 10:11

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. John 10:27-29

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" John 11:25-26

I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:46

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." Romans 10:9

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:13

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 1 John 3:23

What Am I To Do?

Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other. Isaiah 45:22

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. Mark 10:15

Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. Mark 16:16

I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life. I am the bread of life. John 6:47-48

And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Acts 2:21

Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:17

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men . 1 Timothy 2:1-6

Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you. Matthew 6:33

He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters. Matthew 12:30

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

What Does the Future Hold?

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14:1-4

After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight. They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. "Men of Galilee," they said, "why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." Acts 1:9-11

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. Psalm 84:10

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:1-4

To download a .pdf of the above verses, click here.

What Should I Do If I'm Worried About Someone I Know? [CLICK TO EXPAND]

1. Take it seriously.

Myth: “The people who talk about it don't do it.” Studies have found that more than 75% of all completed suicides did things in the few weeks or months prior to their deaths to indicate to others that they were in deep despair. Anyone expressing suicidal feelings needs immediate attention.

Myth: “Anyone who tries to kill himself has got to be crazy.” Perhaps 10% of all suicidal people are psychotic or have delusional beliefs about reality. Most suicidal people suffer from the recognized mental illness of depression; but many depressed people adequately manage their daily affairs. The absence of “craziness” does not mean the absence of suicide risk.

“Those problems weren't enough to commit suicide over,” is often said by people who knew a completed suicide. You cannot assume that because you feel something is not worth being suicidal about, that the person you are with feels the same way. It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly it's hurting the person who has it.

2. Remember: suicidal behavior is a cry for help.

Myth: “If a someone is going to kill himself, nothing can stop him.” The fact that a person is still alive is sufficient proof that part of him wants to remain alive. The suicidal person is ambivalent - part of him wants to live and part of him wants not so much death as he wants the pain to end. It is the part that wants to live that tells another “I feel suicidal.” If a suicidal person turns to you it is likely that he believes that you are more caring, more informed about coping with misfortune, and more willing to protect his confidentiality. No matter how negative the manner and content of his talk, he is doing a positive thing and has a positive view of you.

3. Be willing to give and get help sooner rather than later.

Suicide prevention is not a last minute activity. All textbooks on depression say it should be reached as soon as possible. Unfortunately, suicidal people are afraid that trying to get help may bring them more pain: being told they are stupid, foolish, sinful, or manipulative; rejection; punishment; suspension from school or job; written records of their condition; or involuntary commitment. You need to do everything you can to reduce pain, rather than increase or prolong it. Constructively involving yourself on the side of life as early as possible will reduce the risk of suicide.

4. Listen.

Give the person every opportunity to unburden his troubles and ventilate his feelings. You don't need to say much and there are no magic words. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it. Give him relief from being alone with his pain; let him know you are glad he turned to you. Patience, sympathy, acceptance. Avoid arguments and advice giving.

5. ASK: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?”

Myth: “Talking about it may give someone the idea.” People already have the idea; suicide is constantly in the news media. If you ask a despairing person this question you are doing a good thing for them: you are showing him that you care about him, that you take him seriously, and that you are willing to let him share his pain with you. You are giving him further opportunity to discharge pent up and painful feelings. If the person is having thoughts of suicide, find out how far along his ideation has progressed.

6. If the person is acutely suicidal, do not leave him alone.

If the means are present, try to get rid of them. Detoxify the home.

7. Urge professional help.

Persistence and patience may be needed to seek, engage and continue with as many options as possible. In any referral situation, let the person know you care and want to maintain contact.

8. No secrets.

It is the part of the person that is afraid of more pain that says “Don't tell anyone.” It is the part that wants to stay alive that tells you about it. Respond to that part of the person and persistently seek out a mature and compassionate person with whom you can review the situation. (You can get outside help and still protect the person from pain causing breaches of privacy.) Do not try to go it alone. Get help for the person and for yourself. Distributing the anxieties and responsibilities of suicide prevention makes it easier and much more effective.

9. From crisis to recovery.

Most people have suicidal thoughts or feelings at some point in their lives; yet less than 2% of all deaths are suicides. Nearly all suicidal people suffer from conditions that will pass with time or with the assistance of a recovery program. There are hundreds of modest steps we can take to improve our response to the suicidal and to make it easier for them to seek help. Taking these modest steps can save many lives and reduce a great deal of human suffering.

What Are Some Warning Signs? [CLICK TO EXPAND]

WARNING SIGNS

Conditions associated with increased risk of suicide

• Death or terminal illness of relative or friend.
• Divorce, separation, broken relationship, stress on family.
• Loss of health (real or imaginary).
• Loss of job, home, money, status, self-esteem, personal security.
• Alcohol or drug abuse.
• Depression. In the young depression may be masked by hyperactivity or acting out behavior. In the elderly it may be incorrectly attributed to the natural effects of aging. Depression that seems to quickly disappear for no apparent reason is cause for concern. The early stages of recovery from depression can be a high risk period. Recent studies have associated anxiety disorders with increased risk for attempted suicide.

Emotional and behavioral changes associated with suicide

• Overwhelming Pain: pain that threatens to exceed the person's pain coping capacities. Suicidal feelings are often the result of longstanding problems that have been exacerbated by recent precipitating events. The precipitating factors may be new pain or the loss of pain coping resources.
• Hopelessness: the feeling that the pain will continue or get worse; things will never get better.
• Powerlessness: the feeling that one's resources for reducing pain are exhausted.
• Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, self-hatred, “no one cares”. Fears of losing control, harming self or others.
• Personality becomes sad, withdrawn, tired, apathetic, anxious, irritable, or prone to angry outbursts.
• Declining performance in school, work, or other activities. (Occasionally the reverse: someone who volunteers for extra duties because they need to fill up their time.)
• Social isolation; or association with a group that has different moral standards than those of the family.
• Declining interest in sex, friends, or activities previously enjoyed.
• Neglect of personal welfare, deteriorating physical appearance.
• Alterations in either direction in sleeping or eating habits.
• (Particularly in the elderly) Self-starvation, dietary mismanagement, disobeying medical instructions.
• Difficult times: holidays, anniversaries, and the first week after discharge from a hospital; just before and after diagnosis of a major illness; just before and during disciplinary proceedings. Undocumented status adds to the stress of a crisis.

Suicidal Behavior

• Previous suicide attempts, “mini-attempts”.
• Explicit statements of suicidal ideation or feelings.
• Development of suicidal plan, acquiring the means, “rehearsal” behavior, setting a time for the attempt.
• Self-inflicted injuries, such as cuts, burns, or head banging.
• Reckless behavior. Unexplained accidents among children and the elderly.
• Making out a will or giving away favorite possessions.
• Inappropriately saying goodbye.
• Verbal behavior that is ambiguous or indirect: “I'm going away on a real long trip.”, “You won't have to worry about me anymore.”, “I want to go to sleep and never wake up.”, “I'm so depressed, I just can't go on.”, “Does God punish suicides?”, “Voices are telling me to do bad things.”, requests for euthanasia information, inappropriate joking, stories or essays on morbid themes.

A WARNING ABOUT WARNING SIGNS

The majority of the population at any one time does not have many of the warning signs and has a lower suicide risk rate. But a lower rate in a larger population is still a lot of people - and many completed suicides had only a few of the conditions listed above. In a one person to another person situation, all indications of suicidality need to be taken seriously.