Feel Like You Can't Take It Anymore, or Know Someone Who Feels That Way?
What Should I Do If I Feel Hopeless? [CLICK TO EXPAND]Had an Abortion? [CLICK TO EXPAND]
Tell someone who can help. Tell your pastor, therapist, a friend, a family member, or someone else who can help. Distance yourself from any means of harming yourself. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, get rid of any pills or give your medications to someone who can dispense them to you one dose at a time. Temporarily remove any dangerous objects or weapons from your home. Avoid alcohol or any other drugs not prescribed for you. Don't try to do things you're likely to fail at or find difficult until you're feeling better. Set realistic goals for yourself and work at them slowly, a step at a time. Take one day, or even one task, at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself by focusing on the big picture all at once. Don't be critical of yourself or dwell on criticism by others. Make a written schedule for yourself every day and stick to it. Set priorities for the things that need to be done first. Cross things out on your schedule as you accomplish them. A written schedule gives you a sense of predictability and control. Crossing out tasks as you complete them gives a feeling of accomplishment. Feel good about the things that you got done, but don't beat yourself up over the things that you didn't manage to finish. Make sure to include some enjoyable activities, such as:
Attend to your physical health. Eat a well-balanced diet. Don't skip meals. Get as much sleep as you need, but don't sleep to excess. Exercise regularly. Get some fresh air. Talk to other people. Whether you talk about your feelings or about any other topic, it's likely to be helpful. Sometimes it can be uplifting to do something nice for someone else when you're feeling low. It might brighten your spirits to know that you've brightened someone else's day. If you don't feel better, or even feel worse, as time goes by, see your doctor for a checkup. There are many treatable conditions that can cause depression or fatigue. Some of these include vitamin and mineral deficiencies that are easily corrected, as well as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which can be improved with the use of a full-spectrum lamp.
- listening to music
- playing a musical instrument
- studying your Bible
- doing relaxation exercises
- doing needlework
- reading a book or magazine
- taking a warm bath
- drawing or doing a project
- playing games
- watching a movie or favorite TV show
- playing with your pet
- enjoying a hobby
- taking a walk
If you feel that you can't cope, call our 24/7 hotline:Some additional source of help are:1-800-924-6073
Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S. Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999Remember that this is NOT a permanent condition. If you do something drastic, the consequences of that action may be permanent. Right now there is hope.
Where Can I Find True Hope? [CLICK TO EXPAND]
You can find hope in the Bible. There you will find all the answers. Here are some important verses for you to start with.How Does God Care for Me? I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. Psalm 121 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
Isaiah 43:2 The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18 Cast all your troubles on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-29 Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27 Nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1:37
What Is God Like? Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10 God is love. 1 John 4:16 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Who Is Jesus? For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. John 3:16-18 I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. John 5:24 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day." John 6:39-40 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. John 10:9 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. John 10:11 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. John 10:27-29 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" John 11:25-26 I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:46 Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." Romans 10:9 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:13 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 1 John 3:23
What Am I To Do? Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other. Isaiah 45:22 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. Mark 10:15 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. Mark 16:16 I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life. I am the bread of life. John 6:47-48 And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Acts 2:21 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:17 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men . 1 Timothy 2:1-6 Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you. Matthew 6:33 He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters. Matthew 12:30 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
What Does the Future Hold? "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14:1-4 After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight. They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. "Men of Galilee," they said, "why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." Acts 1:9-11 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9 Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. Psalm 84:10 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:1-4To download a .pdf of the above verses, click here.
What Should I Do If I'm Worried About Someone I Know? [CLICK TO EXPAND]
1. Take it seriously.
Myth: “The people who talk about it don't do it.” Studies have found that more than 75% of all completed suicides did things in the few weeks or months prior to their deaths to indicate to others that they were in deep despair. Anyone expressing suicidal feelings needs immediate attention.
Myth: “Anyone who tries to kill himself has got to be crazy.” Perhaps 10% of all suicidal people are psychotic or have delusional beliefs about reality. Most suicidal people suffer from the recognized mental illness of depression; but many depressed people adequately manage their daily affairs. The absence of “craziness” does not mean the absence of suicide risk.
“Those problems weren't enough to commit suicide over,” is often said by people who knew a completed suicide. You cannot assume that because you feel something is not worth being suicidal about, that the person you are with feels the same way. It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly it's hurting the person who has it.
2. Remember: suicidal behavior is a cry for help.
Myth: “If a someone is going to kill himself, nothing can stop him.” The fact that a person is still alive is sufficient proof that part of him wants to remain alive. The suicidal person is ambivalent - part of him wants to live and part of him wants not so much death as he wants the pain to end. It is the part that wants to live that tells another “I feel suicidal.” If a suicidal person turns to you it is likely that he believes that you are more caring, more informed about coping with misfortune, and more willing to protect his confidentiality. No matter how negative the manner and content of his talk, he is doing a positive thing and has a positive view of you.
3. Be willing to give and get help sooner rather than later.
Suicide prevention is not a last minute activity. All textbooks on depression say it should be reached as soon as possible. Unfortunately, suicidal people are afraid that trying to get help may bring them more pain: being told they are stupid, foolish, sinful, or manipulative; rejection; punishment; suspension from school or job; written records of their condition; or involuntary commitment. You need to do everything you can to reduce pain, rather than increase or prolong it. Constructively involving yourself on the side of life as early as possible will reduce the risk of suicide.
Give the person every opportunity to unburden his troubles and ventilate his feelings. You don't need to say much and there are no magic words. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it. Give him relief from being alone with his pain; let him know you are glad he turned to you. Patience, sympathy, acceptance. Avoid arguments and advice giving.
5. ASK: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?”
Myth: “Talking about it may give someone the idea.” People already have the idea; suicide is constantly in the news media. If you ask a despairing person this question you are doing a good thing for them: you are showing him that you care about him, that you take him seriously, and that you are willing to let him share his pain with you. You are giving him further opportunity to discharge pent up and painful feelings. If the person is having thoughts of suicide, find out how far along his ideation has progressed.
6. If the person is acutely suicidal, do not leave him alone.
If the means are present, try to get rid of them. Detoxify the home.
7. Urge professional help.
Persistence and patience may be needed to seek, engage and continue with as many options as possible. In any referral situation, let the person know you care and want to maintain contact.
8. No secrets.
It is the part of the person that is afraid of more pain that says “Don't tell anyone.” It is the part that wants to stay alive that tells you about it. Respond to that part of the person and persistently seek out a mature and compassionate person with whom you can review the situation. (You can get outside help and still protect the person from pain causing breaches of privacy.) Do not try to go it alone. Get help for the person and for yourself. Distributing the anxieties and responsibilities of suicide prevention makes it easier and much more effective.
9. From crisis to recovery.
Most people have suicidal thoughts or feelings at some point in their lives; yet less than 2% of all deaths are suicides. Nearly all suicidal people suffer from conditions that will pass with time or with the assistance of a recovery program. There are hundreds of modest steps we can take to improve our response to the suicidal and to make it easier for them to seek help. Taking these modest steps can save many lives and reduce a great deal of human suffering.
What Are Some Warning Signs? [CLICK TO EXPAND]
Conditions associated with increased risk of suicide
- Death or terminal illness of relative or friend.
- Divorce, separation, broken relationship, stress on family.
- Loss of health (real or imaginary).
- Loss of job, home, money, status, self-esteem, personal security.
- Alcohol or drug abuse.
- Depression. In the young depression may be masked by hyperactivity or acting out behavior. In the elderly it may be incorrectly attributed to the natural effects of aging. Depression that seems to quickly disappear for no apparent reason is cause for concern. The early stages of recovery from depression can be a high risk period. Recent studies have associated anxiety disorders with increased risk for attempted suicide.
Emotional and behavioral changes associated with suicide
- Overwhelming Pain: pain that threatens to exceed the person's pain coping capacities. Suicidal feelings are often the result of longstanding problems that have been exacerbated by recent precipitating events. The precipitating factors may be new pain or the loss of pain coping resources.
- Hopelessness: the feeling that the pain will continue or get worse; things will never get better.
- Powerlessness: the feeling that one's resources for reducing pain are exhausted.
- Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, self-hatred, “no one cares”. Fears of losing control, harming self or others.
- Personality becomes sad, withdrawn, tired, apathetic, anxious, irritable, or prone to angry outbursts.
- Declining performance in school, work, or other activities. (Occasionally the reverse: someone who volunteers for extra duties because they need to fill up their time.)
- Social isolation; or association with a group that has different moral standards than those of the family.
- Declining interest in sex, friends, or activities previously enjoyed.
- Neglect of personal welfare, deteriorating physical appearance.
- Alterations in either direction in sleeping or eating habits.
- (Particularly in the elderly) Self-starvation, dietary mismanagement, disobeying medical instructions.
- Difficult times: holidays, anniversaries, and the first week after discharge from a hospital; just before and after diagnosis of a major illness; just before and during disciplinary proceedings. Undocumented status adds to the stress of a crisis.
- Previous suicide attempts, “mini-attempts”.
- Explicit statements of suicidal ideation or feelings.
- Development of suicidal plan, acquiring the means, “rehearsal” behavior, setting a time for the attempt.
- Self-inflicted injuries, such as cuts, burns, or head banging.
- Reckless behavior. Unexplained accidents among children and the elderly.
- Making out a will or giving away favorite possessions.
- Inappropriately saying goodbye.
- Verbal behavior that is ambiguous or indirect: “I'm going away on a real long trip.”, “You won't have to worry about me anymore.”, “I want to go to sleep and never wake up.”, “I'm so depressed, I just can't go on.”, “Does God punish suicides?”, “Voices are telling me to do bad things.”, requests for euthanasia information, inappropriate joking, stories or essays on morbid themes.
A WARNING ABOUT WARNING SIGNS
The majority of the population at any one time does not have many of the warning signs and has a lower suicide risk rate. But a lower rate in a larger population is still a lot of people - and many completed suicides had only a few of the conditions listed above. In a one person to another person situation, all indications of suicidality need to be taken seriously.
"I know that Jesus has forgiven me, BUT...I can't forgive myself!" Have you ever said those words?
Satan, the father and author of all lies tries to convince you that the sin of abortion is the sin that Jesus won't forgive. Satan tells you "This sin is TOO big" as he tries to convince you that one sin is bigger that another. He also can tell you: It's no use, you will never forget this sin," or "Do you REALLY think God will ever trust you with another baby of His creation again?" or "You are not worth anything," or "God has more important things to do than to bother with you." Satan IS the great deceiver!
GOD'S WORD TELLS US HOW THINGS REALLY ARE:
Titus 3:5 "He saves us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit."
Proverbs 28:13 "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."
Exodus 34:6,7 "...the Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, and abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin..."
Joel 2:13 "Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and He relents from sending calamity."
Micah 7:18 "Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy."
Remember that while God is at work cleaning out the horrible wound, this sin of abortion, it will hurt! While the work of healing is taking place you can be certain that Satan and his evil forces will be working overtime. Keep remembering that Satan does not want you to be healed and be a child of the Lord. Satan does not want you to taste of forgiveness and peace through Jesus.
GOD'S WORD TELLS US: 1 John 1:9
1 John 1:9"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Psalm 32:5 "Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord' and you forgave the guilt of my sin."
We held a Post Abortion Syndrome class and students reported being nervous about starting it. Satan knows all of our weaknesses. He tried to make the students fearful or keep them from faithfully attending these classes. Class members told the following stories:
"I had an extreme fear of severe storms and for several weeks in a row, those storm warnings would be on TV or radio and I wouldn't come. Neither did the severe storms."
"My tires would go flat right before I was supposed to come to class."
The "What if's" start... "What if when I get to class they will be judgmental of me;" or "What if cry or suddenly break down when I talk about my abortion".
Satan would have all of us rely on our feelings. God's word tells us to KNOW that you are forgiven. Remember, it is easy for us to tell you "Go on, your sins are forgiven," but it is most difficult to forgive yourself.
GOD'S WORD TELLS US: Matthew 11:28
Matthew 11:28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."
Jeremiah 33:8 "I WILL cleanse them from ALL the sin they have committed against me and WILL FORGIVE all their sins of rebellion against me."
Isaiah 1:18 "'Come now, let us reason together,' says the Lord. 'Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.'"
Forgiveness means that your sin IS blotted out, like it never occurred. God wants you to turn from your sin and turn to Christ in faith. Believe that Jesus is your Savior for you are forgiven. God remembers your sins no more.
GOD'S WORD TELLS US: Hebrews 8:12
Hebrews 8:12"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."
Jeremiah 31:34 "...For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."
Isaiah 43:25 "I, even I, am He who blots out YOUR transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."
Look at Peter and Judas, two of the twelve disciples of Jesus. Both had sinned, but the difference was that Peter KNEW and accepted the forgiveness of the Lord Jesus while Judas doubted,listened to Satan, and took his own life.
I look at "I can't forgive myself" as a deep pothole. Potholes are sometimes very difficult to get out of. Sometimes it takes a lot of help to get out of one. How good it is to have Christian friends to encourage you, to tell you and show you God's great love for you. The Bible tells us there IS forgiveness. That is the reason that our Heavenly Father sent His one and only sacrifice for ALL of our sins.
GOD'S WORD TELLS US: Revelation 1:15
Revelation 1:15"And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To Him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by His blood..."
Isaiah 38:17 "Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back."
John 3:17 "For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved."
You might want to ask yourself the question "Is God really there for me?" Of course He is!
GOD'S WORD TELLS US: Romans 5:8
Romans 5:8"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
I John 2:1 "My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense, Jesus Christ, the Righteous One."
Things to Remember...
While our sin makes us unworthy to save ourselves... we are NOT worthless! Satan certainly tries to convince us that we are worthless and that nobody cares for us ant that we will not find another person to love us.
GOD'S WORD TELLS US: Psalm 139:13,14
Psalm 139:13,14"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."
Psalm 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord ;He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."
Acts 10:43 "... Everyone who believes in Him (Jesus Christ) receives forgiveness of sins through His name."
God tells us over and over in His Word "I love you!" How can we hate ourselves when we hear over and over again that Jesus loves us? If we hate ourselves, we suggest that God is wrong. He is not wrong, He is perfect. Jesus loves us in spite of our sins. Continue to get closer to God in order to see your sins and to know that your are forgiven. May you be encouraged to keep your heart filled with Jesus. Leave no room for evil and garbage in your heart.
GOD'S WORD TELLS US: John 3:16-17
John 3:16-17"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him."
John 10:11"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep."
John 6:40 "For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son (Jesus) and believes in Him SHALL have eternal life . . ."
Luke 12:6-7 "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you ARE worth more than many sparrows."
Luke 15:8-10 "or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.' In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
Psalm 65:3 "When we were overwhelmed by sins, You forgave our transgressions."
You are very valuable to God! Perhaps you have, at one time or another, felt like a failure. Isn't it wonderful to know that God sees you as a winner! He is able to see us that way only because of Jesus. Isn't it too bad that sometimes we let other people's opinions mean more to us than God's?
So, strive to go forward. Try not to keep looking into your past. Jesus LOVES you. He KNOWS every single thought and sin within you, but. . . still HE LOVES YOU. He proved that when He left His throne of glory in heaven, came to earth to suffer and die for all of mankind's sins. He gave us the exclamation point of our faith when He rose from the dead. THIS IS LOVE...for you and for me!
By Ann Warner, Counselor
Christian Life Resources- Livonia, Michigan PCC